Convoluted names on our iPhones

[tobindia]

I have an iPhone SE (newer model) running IOS 14.7.1. My wife has an iPhone 11 running IOS 14.7.1.

Our Contacts are synced between both phones and my Mac. I have my own entry in Contacts. My wife has 2 separate entries in Contacts. (There’s a reason for that, but it’s another story.)

Under Settings, the profile [sic?] has my wife’s name on both phones.
Under Contacts, My Card has my name on both phones.
When I call my wife, the incoming call is labeled with my name.
When my wife calls me, the incoming call is labeled “<my name> or 2 others.”

1. Is the Settings profile correct on both phones? Should they be the same? If not, how do I change them?
2. I assume that My Card on my wife’s phone should show her name. If so, how can I change it?
3. Why do calls from my wife to me specify "<my name> or 2 [not 1] others?

I appreciate your guidance.

 

[IWT]

Hi tobinda,

Yes, it's a Settings matter.

Your statement that both iPhones have your wife's (Profile) name on them, suggests that you may well be sharing both iPhones under your wife's Apple ID? This is common practice amongst husbands & wives, including me. Or are you both sharing your Apple ID? Need to know!

This is a crucial bit of info I need confirmed?

Reason is that if two of you share the same Apple ID, that person's name will appear in Contacts as "me" against your name and "MyCard" on both phones. It's a question of "ownership".

That is why you have the same "me" or "My Card" on both phones, I'm assuming. If you change the "ownership" ie "me" and "My Card" on one phone it will change it on the other via iCloud sync.

So, decide which phone has the Apple ID associated with it (yours or hers) - I'm assuming that the same Apple ID is applied to both phones.

On the phone with the correct Apple ID, keep things as they are.

On the other person's phone - create a new Contact with the other person's name - say the name was Jo Smith - add new contact as Mr or Mrs or Miss Jo Smith and give that person the correct number. That's the name they must use.

Now calls made in either direction will come up with the correct name and number.

Your wife - needs to phone John T Smith or whatever you chose and her name and number will show up on your phone.

I have plenty more to add; but I need confirmation about shared Apple ID. If NOT shared Apple ID, ie, you have yours and she hers - then again I can alter my advice.

BTW - do you have similar problems if you text your wife or she texts you? If Yes, we can sort that out too if needed.

Ian

 

[tobindia]

Thanks for your response, Ian.

Or are you both sharing your Apple ID?

Yes, we both share the same Apple ID. I assume that I am the owner. I don't know how to verify that I am the owner, but it jibes with your statement that the owner's name (mine) is the "MyCard" on both phones.

My name is Tom or Thomas. In the interest of privacy, I’ll just use “X” as my last name. My entry in Contacts is “X Thomas”. With that in mind, let me restate my original post:

Under Settings, the profile has my wife’s name on both phones.
Under Contacts, My Card has my name (“X Thomas”) on both phones.
When I call my wife, the incoming call is labeled with “X Thomas”.
When my wife calls me, the incoming call is labeled “Tom cell or 2 others.”
Nowhere in Contacts does the name Tom appear. The character string “tom” does appear in a few entries as a part of another name, e.g. in the name “Atomic.”

1. Is the Settings profile correct on both phones? Should they be the same? If not, how do I change them?
2. I assume that My Card on my wife’s phone should show her name. If so, how can I change it?
3. Why do calls from my wife to me specify “Tom or 2 [not 1] others”?
4. Where does “Tom” come from?

BTW - do you have similar problems if you text your wife or she texts you?

When I send my wife a text, if I specify her name, it appears on her phone as “X Tom”. On my phone, it appears as though I sent it to “Tom cell”.

When she sends me a text and she specifies my name, it appears on my phone as “Tom cell”. On her phone, it appears as though she simply sent it to “Tom”.

I hope all of that is clear.

 

[IWT]

Thank you, Tom, for your detailed reply.

The critical piece of knowledge we need is whose Apple ID is it? Yours or your wife's? One of you must "own" that Apple ID.

You said "I assume that I am the owner. I don't know how to verify that I am the owner". Well, who set up the Apple ID, was it you? The reason I push this apparently trivial question is that it matters a great deal when two people are sharing that Apple ID.

As far as Apple is concerned, one of you owns 2 iPhones. It is the person who set up the Apple ID.

And, on both iPhones, when you open Settings, that person's name should be shown at the top - what you call the Profile. And on both iPhones "My Card" should be adjacent to that same person.

And when you open Contacts, on both iPhones, that person's name should be at the top adjacent to which is "My Card". should be shown against that person's name.

I can't tell you whether the "named person & owner" is Thomas X (or a you have it X, Thomas) or your wife's name.

But what I stress, is that only one - and the same - name should be Profiled in Settings (Apple ID) and at the top of Contacts - AND the layout of the name should be the same (ie say Thomas X or X Thomas).

That then is your first job. As you state that your "My Card" is on both iPhones, I would strongly advise you to assume that you own both iPhones and that the Apple ID is yours. In which case, the Profile has to be the same on both iPhones - yours, not your wife's.

Once you clarify ownership in the way I mentioned above, I can sort out the caller issue when your wife calls you.

And I can sort out the text issues.

Ian

 

[chscag]

Very good explanation Ian. Like you, I have both our phones setup with one Apple ID and myself as owner. As you stated, unless it's done correctly, things can go downhill very fast. And nowadays with my remaining at home mostly, a happy wife is a must!

 

[Cr00zng]

I second that, very good explanation Ian...

I am just so glad we have separate Apple ID with my wife...

 

[tobindia]

The critical piece of knowledge we need is whose Apple ID is it? Yours or your wife's? One of you must "own" that Apple ID.

When I click on System Preferences > Apple ID, it shows my wife's name above the Apple ID. I assume that means that she is the owner.

 

[IWT]

Up till now you've been talking about iPhones. Now you mention System Preferences which is exclusive to Macs. OK, I understand you may have a Mac, quite possibly both of you, I don't know.

The point is: decide who has the Apple ID.

In practical terms, as opposed to personal issues, it doesn't matter. One of you owns the Apple ID and therefore that person also owns all Devices - whether iPhones, iPads or Macs - that are associated with that Apple ID.

Then follow my advice above. All Devices must have that person as the owner. That person as the "Profile" on the iPhones when you go into Settings; that person must have "My Card" and "me" in Contacts. And that applies to any Macs associated with that Apple ID.

Re-read my suggestions in Post #4 and follow through with these. That is the only way that you can remedy your difficulties.

When you've got all the Devices in one name, come back and I'll walk through the process whereby texts and phone calls are registered as they should be.

I won't give up on you. You just have to do your bit

Ian

 

[tobindia]

The critical piece of knowledge we need is whose Apple ID is it? Yours or your wife's?

I am certain that I, physically, set up the Apple ID. My wife simply does not do that sort of techie thing. However, ALL of our devices indicate that she owns the ID. On both phones, the Settings profile shows my wife's name. On my Mac (she does not haven), as I mentioned above, System Preferences > Apple ID shows her name. So, when I set up the ID, I must have done so using her name.

And when you open Contacts, on both iPhones, that person's name should be at the top adjacent to which is "My Card". should be shown against that person's name.

On both phones, under Contacts, My Card has my name (“X Thomas”). I do not know how to change this.

 

[chscag]

On both phones, under Contacts, My Card has my name (“X Thomas”). I do not know how to change this.

If you currently sync your contacts via iCloud (you should be doing that), then all you need to do is open Contacts on your Mac and edit your name to whatever you wish. That change will sync via iCloud to your phone and to your wife's.

My advice is if you already show your wife as owner of the family Apple ID, (it's in her name) not to change it as that may cause even more confusion and possibly lock you out.

As long as the Apple ID owner is straight (your wife) it doesn't really matter what you call yourself on your contact card.

 

[pm-r]

As long as the Apple ID owner is straight (your wife) it doesn't really matter what you call yourself on your contact card.

Maybe even use one of the names your wife uses even though they may not be very useful in public... I can just imagine some of the possibilities a wife might use ....


- Patrick
=======

 

[tobindia]

OK. So, it sounds like showing my wife's name as the Settings profile is correct since she is the owner of the shared Apple ID. I can live with that.That resolves issue #1.

If you currently sync your contacts via iCloud

I do.

all you need to do is open Contacts on your Mac and edit your name to whatever you wish

Even tho I didn't understand how that would help, I gave it a try. Sure enuf. All that did was to change the name under Contacts on BOTH phones. So, I changed my Contacts entry back. Issue #2 is still open. How can I change my wife's phone so that her name is shown under Contacts, My Card?

I now understand the source of issues #3 and #4, but it brings up a new question. I'll start a new thread for that so as not to muddy the water.

 

[ferrarr]

If she already has a Card, with her information, you can right click on the card, you will have an option to:

Make this my card.

If she doesn't already have a card, create (+) her a new card.

 

[tobindia]

right click on the card

I don’t know how to right click in IOS. Instead, on my wife’s phone, I clicked on Settings, scrolled down to Contacts clicked on My Info, then clicked on her card. This did indeed change the My Card under Contacts on her phone to be her name, however it changed on my phone as well. How can I change the Contacts My Card on her phone to use her name and leave the Contacts My Card on my phone with my name?

 

[chscag]

How can I change the Contacts My Card on her phone to use her name and leave the Contacts My Card on my phone with my name

I don't think you can since you both are using the same Apple ID. My wife's phone and mine are setup the same way. We also use the same Apple ID and my name shows as the owner on both phones.

 

[IWT]

As stated in many posts, including my rather lengthy earlier posts:

We know know that your WIFE is the owner.

Therefore, HER name and My Card and Me in contacts, will appear on both iPhones against HER name.

YOU cannot have your name as the Profile, nor can you have My Card or Me against YOUR name. It will, and has to be, against her name and her Profile on BOTH iPhones. (Remember SHE owns BOTH iPhones as far as Apple is concerned).

What this means, when correctly set up as I've explained is:

As owner, when your Wife calls YOU, HER name will appear on YOUR iPhone. That is obvious because She's the owner and she's calling another person - YOU.

The problem is when YOU call HER. In this setup, Apple "thinks" that she is calling herself, in a manner of speaking, of course; because SHE has My Card in the profile and "Me" against HER name on BOTH iPhones.

The simple workaround is for YOU to create a NEW name for your WIFE in the simplest way. For example, if her name is Mary Smith, she is the owner and has My Card and Me against that name on BOTH iPhones. (Don't change that). Create a new name for HER ONLY on YOUR iPhone and call her Mrs Mary Smith.

Now, when SHE phones you, HER name comes up as I said above.

When YOU phone Mrs Mary Smith (or whatever new name you give HER), YOUR name will show up on HER iPhone.

It really is perfectly simple. Once you've got that sorted and tested, I can take you through Text Messages to & from each other.

Ian

 

[tobindia]

YOU cannot have your name as the Profile, nor can you have My Card or Me against YOUR name. It will, and has to be, against her name and her Profile on BOTH iPhones.

But in fact, BOTH phones have her name under Settings, and BOTH phones have my name under Contacts (“My card”).

 

[IWT]

That's why you have all the problems you listed.

You need to ensure that "me" and "My Card" are on HER iPhone under HER name and Contacts and that "me" and "My Card" are similarly under HER name on YOUR phone.

I can't repeat often enough that SHE owns both phones and that the Settings and Contacts on BOTH phones need to register this.

Put even more simply - if I picked up HER phone, then picked up YOUR phone, I should see no difference at all in the Profile under Settings and under Contacts. The phones would be identical in those respects.

You would then create on YOUR phone a substitute name in contacts for your wife, as I explained, with her phone number against that substitute name.

Ian

 

[tobindia]

Sorry for the lateness of my response, but life got in the way...

You need to ensure that "me" and "My Card" are on HER iPhone under HER name and Contacts and that "me" and "My Card" are similarly under HER name on YOUR phone.

Done. Both phones show her name in both places. Calls and texts to each other show the correct names. Thank you for sticking with me Ian.

 

[IWT]

Well done. It's been a long haul and I congratulate you for persevering, when at times things seemed incurable.

Ian